Thursday, December 23, 2004

Undignified deaths

I've worked I don't know how many dead body calls in the last 20 years. Most routine, folks go to bed at night and wake up dead in the morning. Or they go to the bathroom and "Elvis Presley" themselves.

We had one little old guy who did just that. Went in and tred to do his business, and he must have been eating plaster because he was apparently bound up to no end. When he was found a couple of days later he was in the position before his passing. Seated on the thrown, arms tucked to his side, face all screwed up just straining to no end. Except that was his end.

Another one dealt with a lady who must have lived on two things-Ho-Ho's and laxatives. When she was found, again it was in the bathroom. She was quite hefty, kind of wedged in the little room. A job getting her out. When the house was checked for info on who she was or might be related to the officers found lots of Ho-Ho's and the ever present laxatives.

My first one in this town was the old guy that went to the kitchen to lope his mule (you know, choke the ckicken, throttle his rod.......) Either that or he found it stiff one day and thought he should wash out the wrinkles. Anyway, in the midst of doing his thing, the big one hit him and there he dropped. We found him on the floor, pants down around his ankles, business in hand.

Then we had one old guy who rolled off his bed and died. Not a problem in itself, except when he rolled off it was between his bed and the wall. He stayed there a while and was stiff as a board. He was pretty easy to get out and loaded up though, just picked him up by the belt and moved him where we needed him.

When my time gets here maybe they'll find me in the bathroom. I know the guys would get a good laugh there, and everyone needs a little humor in their life.


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