Sunday, December 12, 2004

Traveling Salvation Show

We had a one-man revival come to town many years ago. Kind of like Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show. The one where you pack up the ladies and grab the old babies and everyone goes. Anyway, Officers and an ambulance was requested at his travel trailer for an unknown injury one day before a show.

When they got there they learned this: Brother Love said he took a jog before the show, and noticed he had gravel stuck to his clothes. He figured he'd get the electric broom out and clean himself up a bit. Guess he didn't think about a shower before the show, but that's his business. Our gravel is no different from anyone else's, it usually falls away from the joggers, and doesn't stick to them. But I guess he'd do the best he could. Apparently he had a really powerful electric broom (that's one of those upright vaccuums used to sweep the floor), like enough power to suck-start a Harley, or a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose. It had to be powerful enough to unzip his pants and pull out the business. And that's where the trouble begins. Apparently stuff went too far in the broom, and the little fan blades acted like a real meat grinder. Therein lies the need for the ambulance. I don't know why the cops were called.

The Brother was pretty mangled and bleeding. After he got to the hospital the doctor came in to check him out. The one on duty at the time, Dr. K. was an outstanding surgeon, but he didn't have miracle worker in his title. Dr. K. looked at the mess this guy had made of himself, picked up a scissors, and said "Oh. He no need this anymore!" That pretty much left the only thing to do was sew the remains up.

As a side note, Dr. K cut on me one time. The scar, which was on my neck, measured about 10". I finally got tired of people guessing at what happened, so any time someone asked about it they got the standard, one word answer: circumcision. It's amazing how many people fell for that one. A sucker every time.


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