Saturday, December 18, 2004

Sonny, are you OK?

One officer, Mike, was on a call which deteriorated into a knock-down, drag-out, free-for-all. In the course of the fight Mike was kicked squarly in the family jewels, a very painful experience if you've never had the pleasure. The pain was terrible, and it was about all he could do to drag himself away from the fight, which by that time was being handled by other officers. He kind of crawled between two houses to get out of the public view, and there, on his knees, with his hands holding the damaged goods, commenced to puke his socks up. Out of public view, but not the little old lady who lived in one of the houses. The next thing he knew, the little old lady is standing next to him, asking "Sonny, are you OK?"

Another time Mike (Sonny) was in the work area taking a phone call. He was leaned back in the chair, legs spread, getting real comfortable. John came in, saw him seated like that, walked over, dropped to his knees, and buried his face in Mike's crotch. It was all fun and games until the guy came walking through the room from a visit to the detective office.

One day a fast food place sent up a bunch of leftover baked goods, and several big tubes of that runny, white icing. At shift change these same two guy waited for a particular dispatched to come in. Mike was leaning in the corner, and John on his knees again. As the dispatcher came in the office, John turned his head to look at her in fake surprise, while Mike zipped up his zipper. The "icing" on the cake was when John let the real icing ooze out of his mouth and run down his chin. The look on the dispatchers face----PRICELESS!

These two guys left our department and went on to bigger and better-in another department, together.


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