Saturday, December 18, 2004

Bobby Diamond

Bobby has been with the department almost as long as I have. He's made talking people out of a report a fine art. He'll talk 30 minutes to get out of a 10 minute report. That started with his first report call-stolen Christmas decorations. He and his FTO (the poor schmuck assigned to train the new guys) were sent on a call about stolen decorations. After listening to the caller say that someone stole his $3.00 PVC pipe candy cane, and damn it, he wanted a police report, the first words out of Bobby's mouth was "You gotta be shittin' me!". Needless to say, after the FTO recovered from Bobby's statement, a police report was taken. While some officers can go through a book of 25 traffic tickets in a week, Bobby has had the same book for years. If he stops someone and writes a ticket it's a major event, and other officers will run by his stop to see who would do something so dastardly to warrant a ticket from him.

It's not that Bobby is lazy, he'd just rather take a different approach to things. He feels high visibility is a good deterent. One morning a citizen called to complain about a police car always in the same place, on the same street, at the same time every day. There's Bobby, setting in a church lot. He was tipped off that he'd be called in to the Chief's office about the complaint. Not one to wait for something like that, Bobby came strolling through the Chief's office one morning, looked at him and said "I talked to the Lord this morning, and he said mi casa es su casa" and walked off. As with most of Bobby's conversations with the Chief, it left him wondering just what the hell did he say and what's he talking about?

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