Several years ago my brother came down and spent Christmas with us. Just before he left he commented that we were due for another killing, since there was one or two a year for a stretch. Thank you very much.
The next morning I got a call around 5:30 AM about a double shooting, one dead, one kind of questionable as to whether or not she'd make it. I went to the station, got the car, and picked up my partner, and we went to the scene.
When we got there the first thing we found was that the blanket fairy had already been there. The blanket fairy is the one who covers the dead body and screws up the crime scene. They're dead, it may be the middle of winter, but don't mess up my scene by covering the body. They're not going to complain about the cold. Anyway, when we met with the first officers on the scene we found the reason for the discord that lead to one dead and one maybe.
An extended family, which consisted of some cousins marrying each other, went out and burgled several businesses one night. As there is no honor amongst thieves, these people got in to a big fight on who was getting what ill gotten goods. It got so heated that the man of the clan shot his wife, which was also his cousin. He then shot his sister-in-law, which was also his cousin, and maybe his wife's cousin as well. Hence the dead body and the other in the hospital.
After we got our scene processed we let "Digger", from the local funeral parlor, in to collect the dead. He saw the first one, which he really couldn't miss since she was laying in the doorway. After looking around his eyes really lit up because there, in the living room, was another body. He asked about that one and I told him no, he stays. He's still alive. The live one was Frank, also a cousin to the aforementioned. Frank was so drunk he slept through the festivities. He didn't want to wake up when his uncle (maybe another cousin) came to pick him up. Uncle Cousin gave Frank a few nudges, but he wouldn't move. Uncle Cousin got so perterbed that he finally hauled off and kicked the snot out of Frank. That's all it took and Frank was back with the living, still not knowing what had happened during the night. Frank, a real mental giant, probably doesn't know to this day what happened.
That was the shortest killing I ever worked. We had the shooter in custody in no time, got the confession, cleared the burglaries, the killing, the shooting, and had charges filed all before lunch time. If they could all be that easy.........